Rust Developers Announce Gender And Race Reassignment Surgery Program

Rust by Facepunch StudiosThe developers behind the hit Steam Early Access Game Rust, Facepunch Studios, revealed the ultimate direction of their gender and race experiment. For those not in the know, when a player first launches Rust, they are randomly assigned a race for their player character, including its looks, build, and penis size. In a coming update, they will be adding gender and most likely breast size to that mix. These traits are then permanently locked to the player’s Steam ID. Continue reading

Razer Announces New Vision For Ouya

The Ouya ConsoleFollowing the announcement that Razer is buying Ouya, the folks behind the purchase have expressed what they see as the future of the Ouya to be. They stated clearly that the Ouya has been a great console, a wonderful place for indies to cut their teeth and a great console for gamers to compliment their gaming catalog.

However, they feel that there is much more for the console in its future as a part of Razer. “We feel the Ouya didn’t go far enough. It can do so much more,” an exec at Razer said. With this new acquisition, Razer has stated that they want to do more to attract the core gaming demographic. “One of the Ouya’s failings was that it did not attract enough attention from the hardcore gaming crowd. We want to change that.” Continue reading

Warner Bros. Learns Wrong Lesson From Batman: Arkham Knight PC Release

Batman: Arkham KnightIt is no secret that the PC launch of Warner’s new Batman game Arkham Knight went rather poorly, to put it mildly. The game since launch has been plagued with crippling bugs that all but prevent people from playing the game. The developers at Warner Bros and Rocksteady have worked extensively to fix the issues but things are not moving along as fast as PC fans would like.

Through all of this, Warner Bros executives have been taking careful notes on what to do in the future. This debacle is one that Warner desperately wants to learn from. Only, they seemed to have learned the completely wrong lesson. Continue reading

GamerGate Finds Real Ethics Violation, Ignores It Because No Women Involved

Gamer GateIn what can be considered a shocking turn of events, rumors have surfaced that the GamerGate movement has actually discovered evidence of real ethics violations in games journalism. There was a swell in interest in the new controversy but it quickly died down.

Unfortunately, that swell of excitement and interest quickly died down. When the larger GamerGate community learned that there were no women involved in the ethics violation, they quickly lost all interest in pursuing the case.

“If there are no women we can harass, I want nothing to do with it.” “I came here to lynch women, not to out unethical journalists.” “No one involved is even gay!?” These were just a sample of reactions to the news of ethics violations.

Small Town Cop Excited To Dust Off SWAT Gear To Raid Gamer’s Home

SWAT Prepares To Raid HomeWhile gearing up for a SWAT raid, Officer Brandon Ford of a small town in Kansas was heard describing the nature of the raid to fellow officers. “We got this anonymous call of an active shooter on Elm St. I can’t wait to try out this gear.”

While details were limited, the officers in charge of executing the raid feel confident in the accuracy of the report. Again, Officer Ford was quoted, “We don’t get too many murders around here, I hope there will be some real action.” In fact, the town, with a population of just over 9,000, had only seen 2 murders over the last 10 years.

What makes this particular raid even more alarming is that several officers are aware of the internet prank called SWATing, in which an anonymous person calls in about an active shooter or hostage situation with the goal of getting the SWAT unit to raid the house. These calls are often targeted at people who stream video games live online. When confronted with these facts, Officer Ford replied, “Who cares if it is just some dumb gamer! I haven’t had a chance to use this cool SWAT gear in my 7 years on the force. I am going to do it.”

Several hours later, the officers returned to the precinct after failing to find any active shooters or even guns. What they did find was a father, his wife and two young children. The father was playing a video game online at the time. Although there was no danger from a shooter at the residence, Officer Ford did shoot the family’s dog. “I came around the corner into the hallway and there was this dog that growled and lunged at me. I feared for my safety and had to shoot it.” When asked about the shooting, the father claimed that the dog was a 15 pound terrier and was on the opposite side of a child gate when the officer shot it.

Even though they were unable to find any evidence that a crime was in progress, the officers on the scene did find several thousand dollars in cash. After a positive drug test on the cash, the officers seized the money through a process called civil forfeiture. Although there were no drugs found on the scene, the officers were confident the money was drug money. “Why else would anyone have that much cash if not from selling drugs,” Officer Ford was heard telling the family over cries that the money was for their family vacation the following week.

ESA To Let VGVN Choose Its Own Battles, But Not That One, Or That One

Video Game Voters NetworkThe Entertainment Software Association has announced that its gamer outreach organization, The Video Game Voters Network, will receive an unprecedented amount of autonomy. For many years, the concern has been raised that a gamer outreach organization cannot actually function when its agenda is dictated by a publisher run organization.

To counter this, the ESA has announced that the VGVN will now be able to choose its own battles. “In order to achieve greater support from gamers, we must allow them to choose their own path,” ESA President Michael Gallagher said. “If they feel like they are constrained in any way, we might lose their cooperation and support.”

When news of this story broke, the VGVN announced the results of its gamer survey of issues they feel need addressed. Among those issues raised by gamer members were the DMCA notice and takedown program, the DMCA’s anti-circumvention clause, DRM, abandoned online games, broken game launches and more.

When asked what the VGVN has planned in order to address those gamer concerns, the VGVN attempted to change the subject. When pressed further the representative was quoted as saying, “Those issues fall outside our independence contract with the ESA.”

Nintendo Secretly Working On New QOL Initiative Named “Project 1UP”

Nintendo CEO Satoru IwataIn a leaked confidential conference call between the heads of Nintendo’s worldwide offices and select share holders, it was revealed that Nintendo has accelerated one of its Quality of Life initiatives in the wake of Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata’s unfortunate passing.

While the exact details of the program are unclear, we do know for sure the name, “Project 1UP”. In the conference call, Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime was heard explaining that Iwata’s legacy must be preserved to be brought anew in the near future. When answering questions on the project, Fils-Aime explained that Iwata’s brain and hands are preserved in a state of suspended animation until the technology is ready to “bring them back to life.”

Based on this quote, we can only guess as to the true nature of “Project 1UP”. It could be a system to clone Iwata and transplant his consciousness into the new body. An alternative theory is the creation of some kind of mechanical vessel which will house Iwata’s preserved brains and hands creating some kind of “robo-CEO”.